I don’t know where in my life I lost my self esteem and any self worth I may have ever had.

It might be all the kids in my early grades making fun of me for wearing boy shorts and having a short hair cut.

It might be all the boys in middle school who called me fat and ugly and laughed whenever my friends told them I liked them.

It might be my father who always pointed out how terrible I looked in shorts and how I needed to lose weight.

It might be my mother who never missed a chance to tell me how pregnant I looked in my outfit before school.

It might be that one boy that totally scrambled up everything in my brain and left it for me to put back together.

It might be everyone else who has ever said a hateful comment about my weight or looks to my face or behind my back.

I can’t remember a time in my life that I actually felt pretty.

Not even when I was younger.

Never, ever.

I need a goddamn therapist.